Why Seek Help
Research has found that those who tend to engage in relationship violence increase their abuse over time. In other words, it gets worse over time, not better.
If you believe there may be a problem in your relationship, do not ignore the warning signs and get help NOW.
Taking the steps to stop the violence in your own home is the only way to break the cycle of violence.
What Can You Do
WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU OR ANY OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE VICTIMS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE?
Go to the Police
You can call the police or go to the nearest neighbourhood Police Post or Centre for help. The police can provide you with a referral letter to go to the hospital for medical examination and treatment.
Go to a Family Service Centre or Family Violence Specialist Centres for advice and assistance
You can call any of the hotlines or go to the nearest family service centre or Family Violence Specialist Centre for help or if you need someone to talk to. There will be people to address your concerns.
Go for a medical examination/treatment if you are injured
You should seek medical treatment at your nearest hospital or clinic. Even if you do not wish to take action against the abuser, it is advisable that you go to the doctor to have your injuries treated. In some situations, documentation of your injuries could serve as evidence of the abuse.
Go to a temporary shelter if you fear your own safety or that of your family members
If you have to leave your home immediately due to family violence and have no place to go, there are crisis shelters where you can stay temporarily. You may approach a Family Service Centre, a Family Violence Specialist Centre or the Police if you wish to go to a crisis shelter. You can also seek shelter with your relatives or friends whom you can trust. If you have no place to go, there are crisis shelters where you can stay temporarily. A Family Service Centre or the Police can give you information on crisis shelters.
Go to the Family Justice Courts or a Family Violence Specialist Centre to apply for a Protection Order / Expedited order
You can apply for:
- A Protection Order to stop the family violence
- An Expedited Order if there is imminent danger of family violence being committed against you or your family member.
f you are over 21 years old, you can apply for these on your own. If you are below 21 years old (and never married), a relative, guardian, social worker or person responsible for your care can apply for a PPO or DEO on your behalf. To apply, bring your identity card (NRIC) or birth certificate and any police or medical report, if applicable, to the Family Justice Courts or a Family Violence Specialist Centre.
WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
- DO approach him / her in an understanding manner and talk to him / her in private..
- DO express your concern and encourage him / her to talk and share his / her feelings. Be patient and take time to listen.
- DO offer to accompany him / her to see a doctor if he / she sustained physical injuries.
- DO inform him / her about sources of help and provide him / her with emotional and practical support.
- DO help take care of his / her children or accompany him / her to the relevant agencies if needed.
- DON'T downplay or dismiss the violence and tell him / her that everything will be fine or that abuse is normal.
- DON'T try to solve his / her problem and insist that he / she must do what you say.
- DON'T judge or criticise his / her decision even if he / she shows that he / she is not ready to do something about it.Respect the decision and assure him / her of your support if he / she decides to seek help.
- DON'T lose your patience. Continue to support and keep in touch with him/her.
Where To Seek Help
There are many places you can go to get help. The biggest difficulty is realising that there is a problem, and making the decision not to live with it anymore. There are trained professionals that care and can guide you on your best action plan, according to your own personal situation. So if you are caught up in family violence, you owe it to yourself and your children to end the hurt, and put a stop to the cycle of violence before it is too late.
Family Service Centres
Family Service Centres (FSCs) are neighbourhood-based resource centres that offer a broad range of community services for the public, including handling casework and counselling. They can help with financial, parenting, marital, family or personal difficulties or crises by assessing problems through psychological tests and home visits. Anyone, regardless of age, race, language or religion, can benefit from FSC services. There are about 40 FSCs island wide, run by voluntary welfare organisations.
- Head and facial injuries
- Injury to arms and legs
Family Violence Specialist Centres
Family Violence Specialist Centres provides specialist family violence intervention work. The three specialist family centres in Singapore dealing with violence are Promoting Alternatives to Violence (PAVE), TRANS SAFE Centre and Care Corner Project Start.
Child Victims Of Abuse
f you are a child who is being abused, you can call Tinkle Friend at 1800-274-4788, approach your school teacher, counsellor or a trusted adult.